FAQ


Here are some common questions we receive with the answers:

Why do I have to be on time?

The Welcome Circle orientation establishes our communication and boundary skills for the evening. This creates the clarity and safety that lets everyone relax and know they are on the same page.

If you arrive after we begin, sorry, we will not be able to let you in.

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What should I wear?

Bring comfy pyjamas to change into. Sweatpants are fine, but no shorts or tank tops, please. Think less lace, more flannel. No lingerie.

Please avoid perfumes and scented products like hairsprays, if possible. This makes it easier to cuddle you!

You’re welcome to bring a pillow or teddy bear, too, if you like.

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Why would I want to cuddle with a bunch of strangers?

Some people are already comfortable with touch and can’t wait to be in a place where that’s OK. Others aren’t even sure they want any touch at all, but come to explore some communication skills. Others are just curious about what it might be like.

Many of our First Time Cuddlers don’t want to cuddle with strangers at all, but during the Welcome Circle find out that many people there have shown up for similar reasons. Once we’ve taken the first step in getting to know one another, it’s surprisingly easy to want to reach out and rub someone’s shoulders, or ask for a hug.

Whatever your reasons, a Cuddle Party is a great playground for discovering more about yourself, for exploring new ways of connecting with others or simply enjoying a relaxing, cosy evening with other cuddly souls.

Why would anyone need to learn how to cuddle?

We have found, at the hundreds of parties we have facilitated, that it is not the cuddling that most people come to learn. It is the boundaries and communication skills that are most appreciated by our guests. Once boundaries, choice and communication become easier, the cuddling happens quite naturally.

It is always a joy to see a group of relative strangers, some of whom feel a little awkward at the beginning, relax and enjoy themselves together, and by the end of the evening feel quite cosy and satisfied.

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Do I have to Cuddle with everyone? What if I just want to cuddle with certain people?

You absolutely do not have to cuddle with anyone you don’t want to, ever. And it’s fine to choose and invite only those people that interest you or you feel safe with.

It is helpful though, to remember that it’s not a dating scene. Most people are surprised at how comfortable they are with most everybody, once the Welcome Circle has clarified the Rules and set the tone.

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What if no one wants to cuddle with me?

Everyone, including you, has a choice about who and how to share touch. That means that there may be people who say “No” to your invitation.

However, it has not happened yet that a guest finds no one willing to cuddle with them.

Even if it did, you can always ask your Facilitator for some help and support.

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Is this a singles event?

It’s not a hook-up or dating scene. It’s common to make new friends, and occasionally people have met dating partners, but mostly it’s about friendship and learning nurturing touch.

How can I be assured that everyone will respect my choices?

Our Certified Cuddle Party Facilitators are trained to use the Welcome Circle orientation to establish the boundary agreements and teach communication skills for the evening. We go through the Rules of Cuddling and a few exercises for practising the skills of asking, communicating and respecting other’s choices.

Even so, it is possible that someone at the event may goof. We are all humans! This is where you get to use the communications tools you have just learned.

And of course, please ask the Facilitator for help with anything, at any time.

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What about sex? Isn’t cuddling about sex?

Our society is a little confused (or a lot!) about the nature of touch and sex.

All touch, and all cuddling, is not about sex. Sadly, in a society in which they get lumped together, most people have very little opportunity for touch or cuddling that isn’t part of sex. We believe this is a great loss.

Human beings of all ages need touch and affection. We never outgrow it. As we re-discover non-sexual touch and affection, find a spacious and generous opportunity to enjoy and explore kindness and human affection with others. And we have more fun.

Cuddle Party is specifically designed to leave the sexual kinds of touch off the menu, so that the more inclusive, non-sexual kinds of touch have a chance to be found and enjoyed.

Many people find this quite natural. For others, it’s a new experience or even challenging. Many people are surprised to find such a rich, comforting, playful and fun experience.

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